Did I Miss the Memo? 04/20/09
There seems to be a new trend in keeping appointments that I was completely unaware of until recently. You see, I’ve always operated under the assumption that when I set an appointment with someone for a meeting, a lunch or some kind of face-to-face engagement, it is presumed I’m going to be there unless I notify them otherwise. However, it has recently come to my attention that I’m apparently no longer safe in assuming that this is the case. 
Just last week, I received a frantic call from a man who had confirmed a lunch meeting with me a few weeks ago. He called because he seemed uncertain if we were still on for lunch. On a side note, I find it quite interesting that when he called, he was 90 minutes away from our meeting destination and our lunch meeting was supposed to start in 30 minutes!
More and more, I am experiencing scenarios very similar to this, and the emerging trend I’m beginning to see is that if you schedule an appointment and don’t hear from the other party again before the scheduled date, this means that the appointment has been magically and mysteriously canceled by the appointment fairies.
I’m not alone in this either . . . my wife, Beth, had the same experience last week with a group of ladies she was planning a brunch for. “When I didn’t hear from you over the weekend, I presumed it was off,” she was told by one of the five ladies who didn’t show up.
When did this start happening? Did I miss the memo? Maybe it’s tied to the “reminder call” system that most of my doctors are using now. The front desk now has the task of calling clients a day or two before their appointment to remind them that the doctor is expecting them at such and such a time. (Beth told me that spas and beauty salons are now doing this same thing, but I can’t really vouch for that since my personal experience in that area amounts to none.) If doctors didn’t have the front desk call me to remind me of my appointment and I went ahead and presumed my appointment was canceled as a result, I wonder if they would waive the no-show fee when I didn’t show up? Hmmm . . . I doubt it.
So—I am hereby stating for the record—if you set an appointment with me, it’s firm unless you hear otherwise.
Unfortunately, there seems to be a new trend coming on when it comes to appointment protocol . . . can someone please send a memo? (I must have missed the last one.)
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14 Responses to this article
Ivan~
I have experienced the same thing here in the Land of Enchantment, and I have to say, it is unnerving. It seems that unless I do a follow up confirmation call 24 hours in advance, people just “space it” on our appointment! I’d like to know if that is the case, then what is the point of keeping an outlook calendar, pda calendar or even appointment book?
It feels like there is a lack of accountability – or maybe our appointment was just a “back up” plan if something more exciting did not pan out?
The funny thing is that I’ve had this happen to me in reverse. I scheduled an appointment with someone where I will be traveling to meet with them, I show up, and they tell me that they assumed it was off… Just like you said. Its been an important lesson for me in pre-meeting follow up. Having said that, I think that the infraction is far worse if I’m the one initiating the meeting with you, then fail to show up. I think that the offender in your case knew that they screwed up.
I, too, have this happen more frequently.
I think it’s several things. First, these people are being stood up by *their* contacts, so they start assuming that others are not serious about appointments unless there are multiple confirmations.
Second, I think people are making appointments, seeing what else comes up and then making other plans. They weren’t serious in the first place.
Third, and most sad, I think people are ditching their appointments, then putting the blame on YOU! “Well, you didn’t triple/extra confirm so it’s YOUR fault.” They skipped out, rescheduled, or forgot, but they don’t want the responsibility.
A colleague told me about this site. Glad I checked it out. Looks to be very useful. Vance
As an Advancement officer at a University, I always assume that an appointment I have made is “in stone” unless the person calls me to cancel – but I also don’t make a practice of initiating a reconfirmation process because that gives the person the “easy” option to cancel or delay our meeting.
LOVE this blog entry! You have hit my pet peeve!
I regularly conduct classes in which people must register. Once I get the registration I confirm with them that I have the registration and they are good to go. Almost ALWAYS there are 1 or 2 people who will not show up and then say, “I did not hear anything so I assumed the class was canceled.” WHAT? Why would you jump to that conclusion.
I also do a MONTHLY, every single month for 3 year, conference call for my leadership members. Same day, same time, same phone numbers every month no matter what. I regularly get the following comment, “I did not get a reminder or hear anything about the call so I did not call in.”
When did it become my responsibility to remind Adult Business Professionals that they have an appointment. I did not do that for my kids when they were in school, I am certainly not going to do it for people who are suppose to be responsible for their calendar.
As for the Doctor, well they charge you for the missed appointment.
Here is my MEMO: If you have a meeting with me and you do not show up, I will be billing you my Hourly Rate for the wasted time. And, I will not be calling you to confirm.
I have had this in many cases in the line of work i am in. It is very unnerving. Especially with continual clientel.
What can we do? I have over two hundred clients to deal with am I going to have to be like a Dr office and make calls to remind them that their service day is here? I don’t have time. What is purpose of calendars if your not going to use them?
I lost my phone the other day, and it was surreal. What I realized that there was a time that we communicated with other people as if we wouldn’t hear from or wouldn’t see them for weeks or months.
I think with the advances and lower cost of all-time communicating, people amplify their doubts about their commitments and back out. Oh how I long for the days where you said you were going to do something and you did it . . . and when you trained people enough to work without you.
My pet peeve also. What I’m seeing in the responses is a sort of “Okay, I guess I’ll buy into it and make sure I confirm each appointment.” If I lose sight of my own standards, how do I help others raise theirs? I believe that as leaders we need to set and live up to certain standards. Just as we “refuse to participate in the recession”, we need to “refuse to lower our standards” and help others understand what it means to be a Business Professional. It has served me well. “You can’t talk yourself out of something you behaved yourself into”.
As for the doctor, hairdresser, spa people – that’s just good business. I’m not saying don’t do the reconfirm, just know why you are doing it. They do it because it increases attendance. Same reason BNI chapter members do follow up calls for Visitors Days – it increases attendance. But if one to one you set an appointment with me and don’t show, that doesn’t work for me. I’ll take my business elsewhere.
Memo: When I say I’m going to do something you can depend upon it. And when you don’t do the same, you will slide down the referral curve. You are always doing a commercial!
The article and comment suggest that it is a common trend. Two things I now stress in my networking training is the importance of keepin your appointment and timely cancellation and the other evil: cell phones when you set up an appointment with your contacts and clients. It is also a trend to come to meetings and then “take the call”.
This is one of my pet peeves too. I can sort of understand people questioning an appointment if it was set up weeks prior, but instead of assuming the appointment is off they could at least call to confirm.
I agree with all that if one makes an appointment one should expect to attend and not assume that it is cancelled. The cancellation scenario is a funny thing to me. Why would you assume it was cancelled?. I do, however, like the idea of a personal confirmation the day before the meeting. It is a nice way to connect again with a client and if there are changes in plans neither person will be left traveling and wasting time. I really dislike the computer generated reminders. They irritate me and I really dislike the interruption to hear a computer call. What happened to personal service? Please just pick up the phone and call me in person even if you only leave voice mail. I like the human part of being a human being!
Hi,
This may appear strange, but in India truckers on the highway use a completely opposite convention! When a truck lights up the right indicator, it does not mean that the trucker is turning right, it means that he is asking you to overtake him.
This reverse logic seems to be afflicting those people who presume the meeting cancelled if a follow up call is absent!
I use to say: ” If you won’t be able to come, please call me and let me know ASAP” And the other person says, off course, and than I say: I’ll do the same”.